Welcome to my Brain

After a fun day at work, I’m feeling productive.

I start writing a to-do list.

– Clean bathroom
– Finish work expenses

An unfinished blog post from two months ago suddenly pops into my head, so I put my pen down and begin to read through it. After correcting some mistakes and writing a single sentence, I remember I still have Christmas presents to buy.

As I search through Amazon, popping a few items into my basket, I remember I have a YouTube video to edit, so I open iMovie and insert some clips into a project.

Whilst editing, my mind is constantly whirring. I’m thinking about how my grandpa is doing, what my New Year plans will be, if I have time to buy other presents around my work shifts…shit. I haven’t done my taxes yet.

I hunt for my P60 but can’t find it anywhere. I add “phone work about P60” to my to-do list.

Whilst finishing off my list, I remember that my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist has updated.

As I click ‘play’ on the playlist, a friend texts me about some guy trouble she’s going through. I pause the playlist, we have a moan about men for a while until the conversation turns to our Christmas night out plans. Christmas…shit. I still haven’t finished ordering the presents.

I log back onto Amazon, add a few more items to my basket, become distracted by Twitter and start editing again. That’s what I was doing in the first place, wasn’t it?

I still have a bunch of emails to send.

– Clean bathroom
– Finish work expenses
– Phone work about P60
– Emails

Whilst editing, I think about which order I’d like to upload my videos in this month. I better write a list.

As I’m writing the video schedule list, I realise that the presents still haven’t been ordered. I click back onto Amazon, look over the items in my basket and check out. Sorted. I’ve definitely forgotten a few things but I’m sure I’ll remember them later.

I get back to writing the blog post. That’s what I was doing in the first place, wasn’t it?

As I’m writing, I start worrying about an upcoming Support and Supervision meeting with my boss. I better prepare for that later.

Do I have enough food in for the next few dinners? I’ll add it to the list and check later.

– Clean bathroom
– Finish work expenses
– Phone work about P60
– Emails
– Prepare for work Supervision
– Sort out meals. Write food list.

My interest in the two month old blog post dwindles and I switch back to editing my vlog. Again, my mind wanders and I think about the holiday photos on my camera that I haven’t yet looked at. My Instagram needs work anyway and I could be doing with some new photos.

I import the photos, delete the ones I don’t want and I’m about to send them to my phone when I remember I have to pack for going to Wales tomorrow.

A strong, panicky feeling washes over my body. I become so overwhelmed with all the things I have to do and the motivation I was filled with has completely disappeared. A strong realisation that although hours have passed and I’ve been busy, not one single task has been completed.

My phone vibrates and my friend updates me with her guy trouble. We have a discussion about work, get ourselves excited about going out over Christmas again and I forget about my panic.

I run a bath.

Reading in the bath is one of my favourite ways to relax but this evening, my concentration wavers. I don’t have time to read anyway; what am I doing?!

I get out the bath, dry myself, put on some PJs and continue editing. There’s some blogger drama going down on Twitter that my eyes keep jumping back to, so it’s distracting me a lot, but I think I’ve finally finished editing my vlog.

I watch over the vlog a few times, make some minor tweaks and eventually export and upload to YouTube.

Progress.

I pick up my to-do list to tick it off but realise I hadn’t even included it anyway. Oh well.

I scan the list again. Oh dear. I’ll go back to it tomorrow.

The funny thing is, during one of my panicky, ‘what the hell is going on?’ moments, I wrote this blog post in one go. No breaks or distractions – just typed and didn’t stop. I guess that’s one positive thing about having a brain with (approx.) 8 million thoughts whizzing through it at all times and recurring overwhelming feelings. Sometimes, it can give you a massive push to write, film, create, whatever.

Someone linked me to an article stating that working on one task at a time (which, clearly I find great difficulty in) is the way to go. I’m the queen of trying to do 590 things at once and getting nowhere, so I’m quite excited to start working on this.

Y’never know, in a month or two, you might see me pumping out two videos, two blog posts a week with a killer Instagram and 100% social media engagement (lol, I say as I type this with my head up my arse).

If anyone has similar struggles or has any tips on how to focus, feel free to get in touch.

Also, I just realised it was my grandparents that I forgot to buy a Christmas present for.

*Logs back onto Amazon*

Erin x

10 Internet Friends, 2 Brides and 1 Hell of a Wedding!

When I was 13 years old, my eyes were opened to the world of AOL: Instant Messenger, chatrooms for every topic imaginable and having to wait until your mum got off the phone with her pal before being able to actually access them. The good old days!

Harry Potter Chat, Quiz Chat and Weird Questions Chat were my jam, (don’t judge) and I spent most nights after school wrapped up in conversation, getting to know the different people in each one, especially Weird Questions Chat. Those who accessed the chat most days – we called ourselves “The regs”. Us regs started to get slightly annoyed by the randoms in the room, so one of the guys created a separate message board for The Regs to access. And so, WQ dot com was born.

Over the past 13 years, these people have become some of my best friends. I tell them everything. This year, we attended the first ever WQ wedding (congrats Becky and Kim!), which was one of the most exciting weekends of my entire life and I’m so glad to have it all documented on video.

So, here is one of my favourite vlogs I’ve ever uploaded. Enjoy!

Why I film my periods…

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Do you feel embarrassed when you hear someone mention their period?

Do you think people should keep these things to themselves and refrain from talking about them in public?

Does it make you uncomfortable?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then I’m sorry, but you’re part of the problem.

Why is menstruation such a taboo topic? 

In the past, I remember being absolutely mortified when a bunch of tampons spilled out of my bag on a packed train. Or when I leaked through my white joggies (I know, I was a fashionable kid!) during gym class in high school. The worst was when my high school bully found my mum’s letter to the teacher that read:

Dear Mrs Green, 

Erin can not participate in gym class today as she has a very heavy period.

He showed it to the rest of the boys who all found it HILARIOUS of course, while I held back tears and tried to pretend I didn’t care.

Mortified.

Society has taught us to keep Shark Week on the down low because it’s gross, embarrassing and something that we should refrain from talking about. In primary school, the boys and girls were separated for “special talks”, where the boys were taught about growing hair in scary places and the girls were taught about what to expect when they got their first period. Why didn’t we have both of those talks as a group so we could all learn about what the opposite sex had to deal with? Instead, it turned the whole thing into this huge secret that we couldn’t possibly mention in front of boys because it was embarrassing. It wasn’t for them to know about, right? Nowadays, we try to hide our pads and tampons on the way to the toilet (my friend, Kirsty, described it as: “it’s as if we’re taking part in some sort of dodgy drug deal”), we refrain from bringing up how bloody sore (pun intended) our cramps are, for fear of making others feel uncomfortable and worst of all, we’re made to feel gross for being on our periods because GOD FORBID, BLOOD is coming out of our VAGINAS?! Ewwww!

Because of this, I decided to make a change.

Now, I make a point of mentioning my period occasionally in conversation, I don’t hide my pads, tampons or menstrual cup when heading to the toilet anymore – people can just get used to seeing it and I started a youtube series called Week in the Life of a Period.

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I’m currently filming my 5th vlog in the series, (it’s been 5 months already – where has the time gone?!) and I’m loving it. Each video is filmed throughout the entire week I’m menstruating and I vlog about PMS, flow, cramps, emotions, leakage, products, spots…all the gory details. NOTHING is held back.

It was slightly terrifying to post the first video. I mean, my family and my boss watch my videos – did I really want them to see me crying in bed while stuffing my face with chocolate?

YES. I did.

Despite the fear of people thinking I was off my head, it actually went down really well! Comments started seeping in (lol) from women sharing their own stories about their cycles and engaging in discussions about the different types of experiences we have while bleeding from our vadges. More and more women have started opening up in the comments of these videos and it’s become a safe space to discuss periods without any sort of attached stigma or unnecessary negativity. However, these videos aren’t only for women. Men have commented too, explaining that it’s given them insight into what having a period is like, which I think is GREAT. Everyone is welcome to watch these videos!

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Menstruation is a natural part of life and this proves that the more we talk about it, the more it normalises it. If people start getting used to hearing about our experiences, it won’t be an “embarrassing topic” anymore, it’ll be normal.

Comparing our own experiences can also bring abnormalities to light, that otherwise wouldn’t have been noticed.

Having your period isn’t something to be ashamed of. This isn’t Carrie. I often hear the argument, “I don’t talk about my bowel habits, so you shouldn’t talk about your periods”. NEWSFLASH: POO AND PERIODS AREN’T THE SAME THING, (if you bleed from your bum hole, you should probably consult a doctor). I agree, I think poo is pretty gross, but I don’t take my menstrual cup out, see blood on my hands and think, OH MY GOD, I’M SO DIRTY AND DISGUSTING. Menstrual blood is clean. Of course, hygiene is important and washing your hands before and after using your cup is a must, but come on, comparing the two isn’t even a legitimate argument.

If someone makes you feel gross for talking about it then:

  1. They probably aren’t used to hearing about it.
  2. They need educated on the subject.
  3. They’re a douche.
  4. You should throw tampons at them. (Don’t actually do this, they’re expensive).

I’d encourage everybody who menstruates to make small changes to get rid of the stigma once and for all, be it refusing to get embarrassed when buying menstrual products in the shop or speaking more about it to the men in your life. Even the tiniest steps could make a huge difference!

Remember: Periods are natural, healthy, normal and definitely aren’t something to be ashamed of.

Click the picture below to see my Week in the Life of a Period Playlist! Also, shout out to Tara/Cattitude & Co for also making amazing Shark Week videos!

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Creep Week #3! – Hike Chats and Creepy Mountain People

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During my 2 weeks off from work, I walked the Stank Glen route in Callander and also along Loch Katrine in Aberfoyle. I filmed both of the walks (video below) but I thought I would share the photos:

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The Stank Glen loop starts at one of the Ben Ledi routes, is 9km long, has brilliant paths and great views over Loch Lubnaig.

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Drive to Callander

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Ben Ledi

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Loch Lubnaig

3 days after Stank Glen, I set out to do Primrose Hill in Aberfoyle but decided on a walk along Loch Katrine instead. Although it wasn’t planned, I ended up doing 14 miles altogether! Despite the sore legs, it was worth it for these views.

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You can see all the footage from these days in my new Creep Week vlog along with clips from Ben Donich!

Sunny, Snowy Scotland

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Scottish weather is a complete mystery. Sun can’t be guaranteed in summer and snow can’t be guaranteed in winter; you just never know what it’s going to be like outside. Deciding what to wear when heading out can be problematic – we can’t always rely on the weather forecast.

Yesterday, the weather forecast said it was to be dry and sunny, so I jumped on the chance of a drive to Arrochar for a small hill walk. When I got there, it was pissing down. Typical.
(Tip for walking in Scotland: Always bring waterproofs!)
Thankfully, it dried up later on and it ended up being perfect walking weather!

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Speaking of being prepared for the weather, in January, I was not prepared for the snow. Luckily, it only lasted for 2 days (thank GOD) and on one of the days, I enjoyed a stroll in Balloch Park, watching everyone sledging while everyone pelted each other with snowballs.

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The vlog from both of these days will be linked at the end of this post.

Here are the rest of the photos:

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Also stopped at Firkin Point, Loch Lomond on the way back from Arrochar.

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Balloch Park

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