Welcome to my Brain

After a fun day at work, I’m feeling productive.

I start writing a to-do list.

– Clean bathroom
– Finish work expenses

An unfinished blog post from two months ago suddenly pops into my head, so I put my pen down and begin to read through it. After correcting some mistakes and writing a single sentence, I remember I still have Christmas presents to buy.

As I search through Amazon, popping a few items into my basket, I remember I have a YouTube video to edit, so I open iMovie and insert some clips into a project.

Whilst editing, my mind is constantly whirring. I’m thinking about how my grandpa is doing, what my New Year plans will be, if I have time to buy other presents around my work shifts…shit. I haven’t done my taxes yet.

I hunt for my P60 but can’t find it anywhere. I add “phone work about P60” to my to-do list.

Whilst finishing off my list, I remember that my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist has updated.

As I click ‘play’ on the playlist, a friend texts me about some guy trouble she’s going through. I pause the playlist, we have a moan about men for a while until the conversation turns to our Christmas night out plans. Christmas…shit. I still haven’t finished ordering the presents.

I log back onto Amazon, add a few more items to my basket, become distracted by Twitter and start editing again. That’s what I was doing in the first place, wasn’t it?

I still have a bunch of emails to send.

– Clean bathroom
– Finish work expenses
– Phone work about P60
– Emails

Whilst editing, I think about which order I’d like to upload my videos in this month. I better write a list.

As I’m writing the video schedule list, I realise that the presents still haven’t been ordered. I click back onto Amazon, look over the items in my basket and check out. Sorted. I’ve definitely forgotten a few things but I’m sure I’ll remember them later.

I get back to writing the blog post. That’s what I was doing in the first place, wasn’t it?

As I’m writing, I start worrying about an upcoming Support and Supervision meeting with my boss. I better prepare for that later.

Do I have enough food in for the next few dinners? I’ll add it to the list and check later.

– Clean bathroom
– Finish work expenses
– Phone work about P60
– Emails
– Prepare for work Supervision
– Sort out meals. Write food list.

My interest in the two month old blog post dwindles and I switch back to editing my vlog. Again, my mind wanders and I think about the holiday photos on my camera that I haven’t yet looked at. My Instagram needs work anyway and I could be doing with some new photos.

I import the photos, delete the ones I don’t want and I’m about to send them to my phone when I remember I have to pack for going to Wales tomorrow.

A strong, panicky feeling washes over my body. I become so overwhelmed with all the things I have to do and the motivation I was filled with has completely disappeared. A strong realisation that although hours have passed and I’ve been busy, not one single task has been completed.

My phone vibrates and my friend updates me with her guy trouble. We have a discussion about work, get ourselves excited about going out over Christmas again and I forget about my panic.

I run a bath.

Reading in the bath is one of my favourite ways to relax but this evening, my concentration wavers. I don’t have time to read anyway; what am I doing?!

I get out the bath, dry myself, put on some PJs and continue editing. There’s some blogger drama going down on Twitter that my eyes keep jumping back to, so it’s distracting me a lot, but I think I’ve finally finished editing my vlog.

I watch over the vlog a few times, make some minor tweaks and eventually export and upload to YouTube.

Progress.

I pick up my to-do list to tick it off but realise I hadn’t even included it anyway. Oh well.

I scan the list again. Oh dear. I’ll go back to it tomorrow.

The funny thing is, during one of my panicky, ‘what the hell is going on?’ moments, I wrote this blog post in one go. No breaks or distractions – just typed and didn’t stop. I guess that’s one positive thing about having a brain with (approx.) 8 million thoughts whizzing through it at all times and recurring overwhelming feelings. Sometimes, it can give you a massive push to write, film, create, whatever.

Someone linked me to an article stating that working on one task at a time (which, clearly I find great difficulty in) is the way to go. I’m the queen of trying to do 590 things at once and getting nowhere, so I’m quite excited to start working on this.

Y’never know, in a month or two, you might see me pumping out two videos, two blog posts a week with a killer Instagram and 100% social media engagement (lol, I say as I type this with my head up my arse).

If anyone has similar struggles or has any tips on how to focus, feel free to get in touch.

Also, I just realised it was my grandparents that I forgot to buy a Christmas present for.

*Logs back onto Amazon*

Erin x

Follow:
Share:

8 Comments

  1. December 21, 2017 / 5:35 pm

    Right, I can TOTALLY relate to this I definitely think focusing on one task at a time is the way to go. Have you ever tried the pomodoro technique? If you haven’t google it. I do really find it helps to actually get tasks completed! I’ve also started putting my phone onto ‘do not disturb’ because I check it constantly since I work from home and it stops me from actually getting on with things and finishing tasks!!

    • December 21, 2017 / 5:41 pm

      No! I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it! Googling that ASAP. Thank you for reading and for the advice! 😀 x

  2. Thomas Ginn
    December 21, 2017 / 5:40 pm

    I have similar problems at work. Unfortunately I don’t have any “great” advise other then if you have a hard time focusing on 1 thing at a time then try to find the fewest things that you can that are related that way it kinda flows together(I don’t know if that makes sense or not sounded better in my head). Good luck Erin.

  3. Joy Doogan
    December 21, 2017 / 5:45 pm

    You should get into yoga and meditation best thing calming your brain and helping you focus x

  4. December 23, 2017 / 8:01 pm

    Oh my god, Erin! This is me ALL OVER. I try so, so, so hard to focus on one thing at a time, but I always find myself doing something else without fail…

    Something that helps me is completing tasks that will take less than a minute to five minutes as soon as I think of them, to get them out the way – especially if they are tidying related. The whole tidy space/tidy mind really applies to me, and helps me keep focused 🙂

    • December 24, 2017 / 11:50 am

      It’s a never ending cycle! That’s a good idea though – even completing one or two tasks instantly makes me feel more organised and motivated!

  5. Carsten
    May 5, 2018 / 12:16 pm

    Hello Erin,

    I like your vlogs, they are really nice and taught me many interesting things about Scotland already. Thanks!
    Since I don’t use social media I will use this comment section to say a few things regarding things you mentioned. So I am sorry if it is a bit off topic. 🙂
    Regarding your period vlogs and the things you mentioned there. There is a certain herb called “lady’s mantle” (alchemilla vulgaris). It is known to be THE women’s health herb for centuries and was recommended by the herbalist Maria Treben. Maybe have a look at this tea. It can make a huge difference.
    In one of your vlogs you mentioned that you dislike the dark spots. One of the best remedies for this is vitamin C serum. It can easily be made by yourself and it works very well. There are plenty of tutorials online how you can make it and even enhance it with vitamin E. There is no need to spend lots of money on this, all you need is vitamin C and water basically.
    Obviously I don’t know your blood work, but another things which might be relevant to anxiety, overall energy, period issues and bald spots it vitamin D. Everybody living north to Italy suffers from a deficiency broadly speaking. There is not enough UVB radiation in the sunlight in northern countries, so it is very easily to develop a deficiency. Vitamin D is the “life vitamin”, it tells the body to “wake up” and the lack of it to enter “hibernation”. Personally I take it daily.

    Best regards and good luck from Germany!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *